How addiction is used against us

I have some feelings and thoughts about addiction, I want to say they are inspired...but who knows, if they help one person then I feel okay about it. I have been blessed with an addiction, well several.  Some better than others, since you know there is a scale.  (that was sarcastically written there is no scale- they are all equal)

These addictions put the people around me in harm's way, they mess with their safety, their sanity, their state of mind.

I have also been blessed to be surrounded by people who have addictions that affect me.  My safety. My sanity. My state of mind.

For years I have been trying to make sense of them, wrap my brain around it, stop them, run from them, fight them. Oh the years I spent fighting, and running, and running and fighting.

Until one day, (not really one day, of course it didnt take one day! It just sounds good and that is why people say rediculous things because it looks better on paper, and sounds better)

One day, I decided that it's not my battle to fight, it is human to err, and the struggle with the issues that we have will be long term.

We are all made a little bit different, mostly the same, but just different enough so we all have different things that drive us, that tempt us, that we are addicted to.

And how nieve are we to think that one addiction is less worse than someone else's addiction...they all do the same thing.

Soooo back to that one day when I gave it to God. I said listen, I can't do this anymore, I can't be the lead investigator, the judge, the jury, the executioner, you take this, it isn't mine to carry.

I will agree to help others and you help him I CAN'T FIX MY HUSBAND but I can take dinner to the lady having surgery.

Are you stuck in the Details of Addiction?

I feel like satan is using US and keeping us stuck in the details of this addiction to paralyze us, to keep up wrapped up so we can't do good. God I'll help you if you help my family, deal?

So God says back, I can make your flowers grow, but I can't smile at everyone that passes YOUR way, I can soften hearts, but I can't be the mom your kids need you to be, I can save souls, but I can't do the small acts of kindness that cross YOUR me child, you help me and ask, and I'll help you.

I am a gentleman, a kind God, a loving father. Complaining to your friends is different than praying to me, I CAN TAKE IT, yell, cry, scream, bitch, at me, I know what to do with it.

Your friends need your smile, your encouragement, your faith in good, in God. I can heal this world, but I need you to be my hands, want to?

Tammy Lane Guffey

(Addict. Mom. Trying)