The Reason I came back to the the Mormon Church
I recently saw a blog post called, "The reason I left the Mormon Church"
I usually pass those by but for some reason I read this one.
There were a lot of comments on her blog, and surprisingly enough there were a lot of current active members warning her of the danger of leading others away from the "fold".
To these types of members, my response is
If people need to go, let them leave in peace so that if they ever want to return they remember the peace.
Free Agency and Freedom of Religion are foundational principles that our religion was built on. Wars were fought so that people could have freedom of religion, so why are you trying to take those away.
You're not that awesome, you don't get to make that choice for anyone but yourself.
Back to my story...I hope someone can relate.
I have always been the ON THE FENCE kind of Mormon. Recently, someone asked me if I was Mormon and when I paused, she said, "Oh are you a cafeteria Mormon?"
I had never heard this term, but after she explained that it was that I take what I want from it and leave the rest, I replied, "Yes, yes I am a cafeteria Mormon."
Growing up there are a lot of things I learned that I want to teach my girls, but there are a lot of things I could not stomach.
The Honest Sinner.
I grew up being the Honest Sinner...this is the person that sins, but then doesn't lie about it or try to cover it up, or lie to get a temple recommend etc... Not saying that I am perfectly honest, but for the most part, I err on the side of Honesty.
It was a struggle for me to grow up and watch the same person I slept with the night before go to the temple because he lied, and I missed out on events in the temple because chose to be honest.
I have not held callings because of this same honesty, and sit by watching as others I know are living in sin, lie or minimize their sins to "Keep the appearance" of what should be.
Judge the Judger
So then I began to judge the judger. I saw so many Mormons judge others for sins, while they were lying about their sins, and I became the Judge of the Hypocritical Judges.
It took me a long time to see that I was doing this, but again, I am in no position to judge, even those I think should just be honest and pay the consequences of their choices, learn from it and move on...
I know that I don't know the whole story or reason of why they are they way they are. So I am doing better at not judging those who judge for judging.
Side Note: Just because you lie about a sin or hide it, doesn't mean that it is a less worse sin than the visible sin. So Stop Judging...
oh wait there I go again...ugg
Sins are sins, and lying about them doesn't make them not a sin. Truth? Truth.
Back to the story...I think I have ADD
Ok, so I joined an association last year, it meets once a month- and I attend it regularly. Overall this is an AWESOME association, people are great, training is great, good overall vibe...BUT, there are a few things this association does that I do not agree with. There are people in the association that are not living up the the standards that the association has.
There are a few "friends" that have said things that have hurt my feelings. I missed one month because I was sick and no one even noticed(or if they did, they didn't say anything)...so I find myself telling my sister what a horrible association this was, and that I will be leaving the association as soon as my year is up...
SOOO, what does this have to do with CHURCH???
- There are things that people at church do that I do not agree with.
- There are people at church that do not live up to the standards the church has.
- There are a few "Friends" who have hurt my feelings by the things they have said.
- If you miss church, no one will notice(and if they do, they won't say anything).
- church is not where perfect people go, its a place for people to go to feel loved, and accepted and work on their issues.
AND IT HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS
People who notice these things are the people that the CHURCH NEEDS! Some people live their entire life and never even notice any of this.
They don't know what it feels like to not feel welcomed when they are new.
(Because maybe they have been in the same ward their entire life)
They don't know what it feels like to have a step-daughter forgotten because her records are at her moms ward.
(Because maybe they have different struggles)
They don't know what it feels like to be treated differently because of...(you name it)
So, now I know I will be rejoining the association BECAUSE I CAN MAKE IT BETTER. I SEE THINGS THAT OTHERS DON'T SEE.
YOU SEE THINGS THAT I DON'T SEE.
That is why we need all of us.
GOD NEEDS ALL OF US. (Good needs all of us-if you don't believe in God)
I may be a cafeteria Mormon for now..but I'm going to go regularly and take my family and start doing all(well Most) of the annoying things they say to do...because I want to make the world better, and instead of fighting it, I'm embracing it.
I was telling my sisters this, I think I can stop some of my sins...not because they tell me to, but for these reasons...
- I want to never drink again, so I can leave the waitress a big TIP, and be able to drive anyone anywhere at anytime.
- I want to never drink coffee again because it gives me diarrhea.
- I want to not do drugs because then I wont be able to see the good I can do around me.
- I want to go to church because if I make it through sacrament, then I have two free hours of babysitting.
- I want to want to read the scriptures...but they're kind of boring.
- I want to be faithful to my husband because the less I complain about him the more amazing he is...and STD's scare the crap out of me...
- I want to start thinking about keeping the Sabbath Day Holy...because it's awkward feeding the missionaries Chinese takeout food on Sunday...(funny story)
- I want to stop gossiping because my sisters and I are having a contest, and I want to win.
- I want to be so kind and loving that people want to show up, they want to be at church. Because going to church is like going to the gym...its as hard as hell to show up but the chances of working out highly increase if you can get in the door.
It's America, 2016, Stop Following Blindly then being pissed about it- find a reason that makes sense to you.
Do whatever you need to do...but if you get within 10 feet of me you better believe its going to be awkward...
Tonight I asked my little sister if she wanted to know why I am going to come back to being Mormon again...and she said, "To stress all the other Mormons out?"
I said NO...I said, when you're a certain race, you can make fun of other people in that same race..but if you're not then you're just a racist A-Hole...
so you better believe it -Mormons need to laugh more. WE are to uptight and serious. So now I'm Mormon, if you're acting crazy then you better believe I'll call you out on it. And I expect the Same from YOU!
Life is to Short to be a Sinist against people that sin differently than you do.
We all sin. We are all trying, you don't know the whole story of why people are the way they are.
So this is the Bi-Polar ADD story of Why I Came back to the Mormon Church . I hope it helps one person...just one.
Bless you as you go about doing good. And you do more good than you know.
You got this,